Ornithopter Shirts Now Available


VALLEY OF THE SUN TELEGRAPH COMPANY
RECEIVED JAN 19 2016 12:10 PM
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NEWSFLASH FOR IMMEDIATE PUBLICATION STOP
ORNITHOPTER GAMES LOGO SHIRTS AVAILABLE FOR INTERNET PURCHASE STOP
PREPARE FOR IMMINENT ENCLOTHENING

A Royal Blue Ornithopter Games Logo Shirt

That's right fashionistas! Just in time to regret that your mom or significant other could not purchase it for Christmas gifting, you can be one of the first to acquire this handsome Ornithopter logo shirt.

Available in colors: Black, Royal Blue, and Slate

Available in identities: Men, Women, and Youth

Available in materials: 100% fine ring-spun combed cotton (machine wash cold)

For too long now you have yearned to strut your stuff about town, daring people to ask you "What's an 'ornithopter'?" Wait no longer, friend. Seize that experience today!*


On a more serious note, if you are familiar with custom t-shirt sales you may be wondering how I could afford a bulk print of shirts that I am extremely unlikely to sell. Well I have a secret super-weapon here, and that is Merch by Amazon. Shirts printed and shipped on demand, no minimums. Normally I wouldn't waste time plugging Gibson-esque megacorps like Amazon, but I think this is a really cool service and it was impressively easy to get everything set up. Anything that lets me put stupid things on a real shirt without resorting to puff paint and bedazzling is all right by me.

*Not a guarantee or assurance of experiences had while wearing Ornithopter Games shirts. Experiences may or may not be an unknowably subjective construct of an objective reality irretrievably filtered through personal neurophysiology and biochemistry. Please wear responsibly.